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How Did We Get Here?

Isn't that the million dollar question in our lives right now?


Let's begin with: NO this isn't a Blog to trash talk after a recent divorce, or play the role of a helpless victim in my own life. It's a Blog that I hope, will offer Hope to others.


Offer Hope? Yes, and laughter with maybe even a side of encouragement. Why? ... because this world is dark enough, and this road has seemed like a dark alley from the worst horror movie ever at times. What I have discovered, is there needs to be some serious light shinning. Everything I researched as I traveled this road, has been at least 90% full of negativity and darkness. I want to offer others some light in the darkness. If sharing some of my journey, the highs, the lows and the in-betweens can help someone else walking a dark scary road, then maybe all of this won't seem to be as in vain as it feels most days.


So, back to the question I have pondered endless hours over the last 7 months. How did we get here? I have so much I could say, so many opinions to give, so many articles I could link for clues but at the end of the day none of it really matters. Why? Because we're here regardless. I can't change that, and my children for sure can't change that. We are learning to adjust to our new reality. Out of respect for my now Ex-Husband and our family details to how we got here will be left between us. I would hope the same from him. What I am here to share is the new journey.


To those of you reading this that may be recently separated or divorced, I'm sorry for the road that you are walking. I know that it is paved with shrapnel from our lives we'd rather not experience the pain from. If you have children, I know how you long to wrap them in a shield of protection from all of it. Yet facing the pain, circumstances and consequences is inevitable for all involved. Even the youngest and most innocent. My prayer, is that through this Blog you are given hope that life doesn't end here in this moment.


It was hard for me to get past the gut punched feeling, the tears that welt up and flowed at the least opportune moments, the feeling that I was going to projectile vomit all day long. The thoughts of the future and the destruction of my family. The block wall in my mind that we could even be a family minus one. The spiritual warfare that took place in my home, my heart, my mind, my entire life. The thoughts and feelings that we were all alone now. The good news is, we weren't. The Lord was right there even at times I couldn't feel him. He was listening to our cries and he has carried us through every moment. He sent people into our lives at the very second we needed them. HE provided.  


Are we all better now? Absolutely NOT. I'm thankful that I am a teacher on summer break at the moment. That the divorce was finalized at the beginning of the summer, and has allowed for a time of healing in my home that would have otherwise been delayed or distorted by our regular life schedule. We are working our way through the trenches, and I hope that this Blog will inspire you with what that looks like for us. I know its not the same for everyone, all families are different.


 I know when I first started out on this new season of life as a Single Mom of 6, I needed a visual of what this is supposed to look like! I searched everywhere, and found nothing. There were some good Blogs or articles that covered topics that you face in this new life. They were helpful, but I wanted to know more. What I have found, is the visual is what you allow God to make it. Your life, and the life of your family can still have meaning, be beautiful, experience purpose and love like never before. You are at the fork in the road where you will choose bitterness and hate or love and forgiveness. I know, easier said than done. Believe me, there are some days I want to take a trail over to bitterness and hate and camp out there for a while. Honestly its easier than the alternative, but I desire so much more for my family and I have 12 little eyes watching me all the time! No pressure right?


I have kept you all long enough for a first Blog Entry into our new life. I hope that you come back for more in the days ahead. I hope that many of you out there realize after reading this that you aren't alone. If you have children and our new to Single Mom or Dad life, you are not alone! If you feel like you may not make the day, I understand, and believe me you will good Lord willing. Will everyday be rainbows and butterflies? Absolutely not, I regret to inform you that I have yet to experience or witness anyone whose life is as such. No matter how their FB Page seems to you, everyone has struggles. Hold on to taking it one day, one moment at a time. Give of yourself what you can, and trust God for the rest. You aren't failing them like you think you are. They won't remember everything as bad like you have convinced yourself in this season.


Remember this:


Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for well-being and not for trouble, to give you a future and a hope.


Keep holding on my friends,


Julie


  

Comments

  1. Julie: What a beautiful expression of how you have let God bring you to this place. Sometimes divorce happens in other relationships, too, and we are left wondering the same things. How did I get here? Thanks for opening your heart and sharing, especially at this very vulnerable time. I see such wisdom and maturity in your words. I needed that today. I look forward to the next post. :)
    Love, Teri

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